Letters to Myself
by Eternally Seventeen
Summary: She refused to let go of that diary even when the world was ending in flames around her, and he had no choice but to let her go; if only for a bit. -During the Battle of Hogwarts-


**A/N**: Written because I really wanted to experiment with Neville/Luna, and for:

Cheek Slytherin Lass' **All Sorts of Love Competition**, prompt: Non Canon Love (Luna/Neville)

mrsProbie's **The Literature Class Competition**, prompt: Hemmingway (Write about a physical fight)

Sweet Bitter Life's **The Flower Language Challenge**, prompt: Iris (Write about a Ravenclaw)

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**Letters to Myself**

"Luna, move!"

"No, wait, hold on! I can't find it!"

Neville dived sideways as the fiendfyre assumed the shape of a hideous dragon with way too many teeth and threatened to crash down on Luna, incinerating a huge pile of books on magical creatures instead that groaned and shrieked as the fire turned them to charcoal.

He breathed heavily as he stood up, grabbed Luna's arm before she had the chance to escape his clutches and ran like his life depended upon it, which it did. He began jogging towards a cooler region of the library, trying to figure out an escape plan that involved the two of them being alive.

"Neville. Please, let me go find it. I know that it's in here somewhere; I saw it in Draco's hands as he ran from the dungeons, following Harry."

Her eyes were pleading and her voice was too high, too tensed, too scared. Emotions that yesterday, Neville would have never attributed to Luna had he not been standing with her at that very moment as she slowly lost all sense of self-control. But he couldn't let her _die _in the pursuit of a little diary regardless of how important she claimed it to be.

He grabbed her pale, flushed face roughly in his palms and spoke urgently. "Listen; let's look around in the areas we pass by as we head towards the exit, okay? If you can't find it here, then you just _have_ to give up, Luna." He had initially tried to calm her down but had only ended up driving her into deeper anguish; now, he couldn't afford to placate her emotions anymore lest she end up dead. It was the time to just _run_.

Luna's eyes grew wild and she howled. "No! Draco wasn't even _in_ this area! He'd headed off towards the restricted section, and then I saw them again just as Crabbe cast the fiendfyre towards the charms scrolls, almost taking Harry out. But I know he'll be okay." A glimmer of hope sparked in her eyes once more as she thought of Harry and she slowed her speech down, pausing to inhale the only slightly less sooty air.

While Luna may have calmed down just the smallest bit, however, the fiendfyre was only gaining momentum, taking on the ghastliest of shapes as it shrieked and blazed on through the library, damaging centuries' worth of tomes. Luna thought sadly of Hermione as she rushed onwards with Neville, wondering at just how much knowledge was dying that night along with the hundreds fighting in the great hall below.

The two had now reached the other end of the restricted section; this was Luna's plan all along, and Neville's heart almost stopped beating as he recognised his surroundings. His eyes grew wide. "Luna! What have you done?" he hissed, his eyes growing wide with fear.

"Neville, the charm was cast at the opposite end of this section, and silly Crabbe was so afraid of his own charm that he thrashed around like a fish out of water after casting it; the fire will take a long time to reach this area, by which time I'm really hoping someone or the other would have extinguished them." Her words were rushed, her heart had probably pumped the blood in her body a billion times by now and her hands were quivering. "Please, Nev," she beseeched. "If it isn't anywhere here, I promise to leave with you."

Something told him that this one promise which Luna would gladly break, but something about her eyes made him swallow her words. "Okay," he nodded his assent nervously. "I'll help you, too."

Madame Pince would have had multiple fits had she been alive to witness this carnage of her precious library. Luna and Neville shoved debris and books alike in all directions in their mad hunt for Luna's precious diary; after what felt like hours to a nearly faint Neville, his eyes fell on a worn-still-shiny electric blue cover peeking out from below piles of displaced books on the various Headmasters of the magical schools of Europe, and he nearly cried in relief. The book was very close to Luna, and she had her back turned on it; his voice was so hoarse with the flames having licked it dry that he couldn't utter a word before swallowing desperately a few times.

"Luna!" he roared to the girl as she rummaged around on the opposite side. "Look _beside _you!"

Just as she spun around and set eyes on her precious diary, Neville's heart sunk as he heard footsteps behind him. The quick-paced clicks were a dead giveaway and Neville found himself staring up at none other than Draco Malfoy's sneering face.

"Look at you, trying _so very_ hard to play hero. Trying to save the girlfriend's sanity, are you?"

His gaze now shifted to Luna, who stood on the opposite side with a fast hold on her diary, which she was finally reunited with and Neville found himself wondering for the hundredth time as to why that one object seemed to mean more to Luna than her own life. She'd never been easy or _practical, _but she'd never before behaved like she had a lasting death wish, either.

"Did you friend manage to escape the fire?" asked Luna simply, her eyes glowing silver in the nearly dark library.

Draco snarled as he slowly advanced towards her his stance menacing. Neville couldn't quite match his pace and he struggled towards Luna, who seemed rooted on the spot.

"You little piece of shit! How dare you!" Malfoy cried out. Abandoning the little self-control he surprisingly seemed to have preserved all this while, he lunged out and struck Luna in the jaw.

For a few seconds, time literally stood still. It was as though Draco couldn't believe that he'd finally gone and hit a girl; Luna couldn't believe that she'd been hurt with such viciousness for a reason that was still unknown to her.

But then the telltale smell of smoke was coming her way, and she heard the snap and crackle of live flames as the fiendfyre made its way to them…

"Neville!" she shrieked, grabbing his hand and making a mad dash through the library. Before he could get to her, Draco grabbed her hand and allowed himself to be led out while Neville followed, sounding like an accordion that couldn't age gracefully.

There was sweet relief in the air and a strange sense of comradeship for about a minute when the trio managed to escape the library. Neville had finally extinguished the fiendfyre that has been weakening, and the threat of the entire college going down in flames existed no more.

They paused to catch their breath by a staircase deserted by people and portraits alike and it was only then that Luna felt a clammy hand holding on to hers.

"Draco Malfoy," she uttered the word like it was a curse, her eyes narrowing and hair flying as she advanced towards him. The boy had resumed his air of superiority though it didn't match quite well with his smoky clothes, dust-smeared face and hair burnt off in places.

His smirk faltered a little and slid off his face completely when Luna's fist connected violently with his arm. It was not so much the pain he felt (which was rather sharp) but the very fact that Loony Lovegood, the girl with her head permanently stuck in a dream or two and who refused to kill little _insects _had hit him, and none too gently at that. Neville grinned but discretely moved, positioning himself right beside Luna and gripping her palm tightly in his. She squeezed him back.

"Why, you idiot!" He yelled. But before he could carry out any more lasting damage, he found himself against the wall with his hands tied behind his back and a very angry pair of dark eyes staring straight into his. Then a fist slammed into his guts.

"How dare you hit her, you slimy git!"

"I suppose you're in love or some rubbish like that, Longbottom. What's it to me, anyhow?"

Neville's fist connected with Draco's gut again and he shuddered in pain and anger, struggling to get out but greatly weakened and unable to escape the furious boy's severe grasp.

Luna walked over to where Draco stood, unable to talk, unable to act. She suddenly looked at her hands as if to make sure that her diary was still safe within her grasp and then looked back at Draco.

"What are you staring at, Loony?"

Luna delivered a swift kick in Malfoy's shin, and he actually cried out this time.

"You bitch!" His eyes smarted with unshed tears that shone of pain.

"What did you call her?" Neville's voice was deadly and there was ruthlessness in his eyes.

"I called your precious little girlfriend a - "

Draco didn't have the time to complete his sentence as Neville's white knuckles came crashing into his face in a way that cracked his nose and lip all at once.

"I will break you, Draco, all of you and your sickening, evil little gang of Death Eathers…" He was unable to complete his sentence. All this hatred was so violent, it had sapped the life out of Neville and he vaguely wondered if he even recognised himself anymore.

"Neville, stop!" screamed Luna simultaneously, putting a hand up to stop the bleeding from Draco's face who shook his head angrily in an act of defiance.

"Let's not become _him_, okay? This is what he wants, Nev, this is what Voldemort wants! To break us down to the bone and fill us all up with nothing but hatred, just as he is! He wants to drain the world of love just because he was denied a chance at it. Let's stop giving him exactly what he wants, stop sacrificing ourselves to him like this!" she implored as her senses flooded back to her, leaving her dazed and sorry.

Neville loosened his grip on Draco but didn't let him go entirely. Tell me," he whispered threateningly. "Is Harry alive? What about Ron and Hermione?"

Draco spat at Neville, leaving a trail of spit and blood down his already scarred and dirty face. Neville's instincts took over and he punched Draco again in the face, watching the blood flow down his nose with apathy. His hands moved to Draco's collar and he held him tight and Draco struggled openly now and Luna couldn't be heard over the sound of Neville's screams.

"TELL ME! IS HARRY ALIVE OR NOT? DID YOU KILL HIM? YOU MURDERER! MURDERER!" His sanity slipped away from him I bits as his mind conjured gory images of Harry and Ron lying dead on the floor of library as the vicious fiendfyre consumed them, and Hermione being killed downstairs in battle.

"Potter is alive," Draco said finally, losing his will to slump. "So is Granger." Neville's eyes widened slightly; he hadn't called her a _mudblood._

"Ron?" he asked tentatively, terrified of the answer.

Draco shook his head.

"I don't know, Longbottom. I lost sight of him as Crabbe died." His voice sagged with defeat.

"Crabbe – what?" For a second, their animosity dissolved as one imagined and other recalled personally witnessing the death of a close friend.

"He died in the fiendfyre he cast." Draco closed his eyes, allowing himself to believe the horrific scene he had witnesses before his eyes.

Neville didn't know how to respond. Luna did, however, and she now sliterally shived herself between the two boys, forcefully separating them.

"Draco, leave."

Draco looked hard at Luna as he staggered and stood, unable to hold himself straight and realising for the first time ever just how unique she was from the rest of _everyone_ he'd ever interacted with before.

"What's in the book of yours?" he asked, all signs of malice wiped clean from his voice.

"This? Oh, it's just something I do to keep myself alive from the inside in times like this. Bye, Draco, and I do hope you don't die."

Neville watched their strange exchange with a baffled expression on his face and didn't talk even as Luna walked away from Draco towards him and gently wiped his face with the corner of her sleeve. She then placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Slipping her hand into his, she slowly steered him away from the landing of the staircase towards the South tower.

"Luna? Er…where are we going? Shouldn't we be rushing towards the Great Hall?"

"Neville ,would you accompany me to the Ravenclaw common room, please?"

"Right _now_?!"

"What if it doesn't make it through the battle and I never get to go back? It is one of my homes, Neville," she ended sadly. "It's okay if you can't come with me. Check on Ginny and the others; I'll be with you soon."

"Luna, there's no guarantee that we'll find each other, no guarantee that we'll even live through this!" Neville was frantic once more.

Luna smiled at him, a smile that was so sweet and sad and so filled with longing all at once that Neville couldn't bear to look away. She looked more ethereal than human with her blonde tresses framing her pale face and her small hands clutching tightly on to that little diary of hers.

"Here," she stretched her hand out and offered Neville the diary. "Hold on to this till I get back to you, okay?"

Neville nodded, his mind split. He wanted nothing more than to be with her right then, whisk her away from this ugly war and spend days and nights together enveloped in love and happiness. But now wasn't the time to be impractical or construct daydreams of a future they were uncertain of being alive for.

"Half an hour, by the Slytherin dungeons okay?" They both knew that it was probably the one part of Hogwarts that wouldn't be under attack.

"I do love you, Neville Longbottom."

He grabbed her face roughly in his and kissed her hard as the tears fell freely, making it a salty kiss.

"You'll never really lose me," she said as they resurfaced, and threw her arms around him.

The pair parted with tears still glistening in their eyes.

* * *

_Diary,_

_It's Neville. It's always been Neville, the shy boy whose eyes shone in Herbology and was the first to befriend me, even before Ginny, way before Harry. _

_I first liked him because he called me Luna and yelled at those who called me Loony. Somehow, that name seemed to bother him more than it did me._

_He was also the first one to believe in my beliefs of the creatures everyone else had condemned to a fallacy of the imagination. He understood how important it was for me to follow my mother's legacy and discover the truths for myself._

_And I think I am beginning to feel what mum tried explaining to me all those years ago. I think I'm beginning to fall in love with Neville Longbottom._

The tears fell hard and fast, dampening the edges of the slightly yellowed paper. Neville's hands clutched wildly at Luna's cold one, the grief clouding the last vestige of his sense and driving him to deep, dark madness.

This couldn't be happening.

There was no reason for the slimy Carrows to be anywhere near the deserted Ravenclaw tower but they had been there anyways. There was no reason for them to attack, maim and brutally kill an unarmed sixteen year old who had just wanted to see her common room, but they had done so anyway.

And she hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye; Hogwarts said goodbye to her, instead.

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_I hope you enjoyed it; please do drop a review on your out!_


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